Haydon and Neil who shared 35 points and 35 stone

COVENTRIANS 35 - 8 COPSEWOOD

Saturday was a day for muscular forward play, flexing of biceps, firsts and records. We have a good league record v Copsewood and yet they're perennial Covents party poopers who normally slug it out in tight, turgid affairs and lose out narrowly at the end. Not so yesterday as the fat boys turned up the heat in the Covents' kitchen and produced a convincing victory that sees us sit proudly, 9 points clear at the top of the pile.

The writing was on the wall in the 11th minute when Raging Bull Neil Walters went on the rampage through 5 defenders from the half way line and dotted under the posts for prop Haydon Clarke to convert 7-0. On 14 minutes, Kev Walters' alarm didn't go off and he hit their No 10 late-ish leaving him dazed and confused but luckily no yellow card. Copsewood potted the resulting penalty for dissent to make the score 7-3.

On 32 minutes, from a Copsewood scrum on their line, Covents shoved, got ball and from the resulting tapped penalty, Big Neil dotted with Haydon converting for 14-3. Five minutes later, on our line, credit to Copsewood who shoved our sleepy forwards over for a score to take us into the break 14-8.

On 46 minutes, Big Neil again, from a scrum on the 22 went over unopposed (through the tacklers white flags) and yes, Haydon slotted for 21-8. The 50th minute saw exactly the same combination (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) Big Neil / Haydon take the score to 28-8 and then in 67th minute Groundhog Day struck again as Big Neil scored his fifth try from No 8 and Haydon converted for 35-8. At this point Bopper took Neil off as a quick glance through the Warks RFU handbook had shown that 6 tries meant 2 jugs, a curry for each of the team, a new dishwasher for his missus and Neil having to decorate the clubhouse. The only thing that happened in the remaining 15 minutes was for Donk to knock on like a big girl when the whitewash beckoned and George receive a yellow card with about 17 seconds left. So, we are a one man team then ....

So now to the records and firsts.

Surely a record for a No 8 and a prop to share 35 points? 5 tries and 5 conversions each respectively - answer on a postcard please.

Firsts; I've never seen our No 10 (Tom Gough) start the game with an Alice band and hair modelled on the Fonz but heyyyyy, sit on it Cunningham, it could catch on.

I've never seen our coach wear a tie in the opposing team's colours but fair play Bops, you were less grouchy.

I've never been debagged (trousers and boxers) in front of the club president and the president of the Warks RFU - thanks Sean, I nearly had someone's eye out. Why Woz found it so funny I'll never know but BIG things amuse little minds and if our winning run continues, we'll all be smiling.

Quick mention to the second team who had their visas stamped and went over the border to the badlands of Atherstone and lost 50-19 - I'm afraid I don't know our scorers.