Saturday 14th November 1:00pm - Covents VPs & Old Boys Day

Coventrians 13-9 Coventry Saracens (Mids 5 South)

Our all time league record v Cov Saras is P20 W10 L10. We first played them in a league fixture on 26th November 1988 losing 3-6 at Bredon Ave with a Clayton Flick penalty our solitary score. Our last game was on 19th January 2008 when we won 20-8 away. Dave Sexton & Carl Thornton scored tries with Chris Simons adding 2 conversions and 2 penalties.

Super Ro Dives in to Clinch Win for Covents

At a cold, windswept, rain lashed Black Pad; Covents put in a tough day at the office to clinch their fourth league win of the season against Cov Saras. This is a fairly short report as I spent the first half in the lovely warm clubhouse, kidnapped by old farts and forced to drink Guinness.

So Saras took the lead with a drop goal and a penalty but Rohan Aitkin hit back with a try from a five metre scrum to leave the score at half time, 5-6. Earlier, Danny Pearson had dotted down but the score was disallowed; (turns out he only wanted a kiss off monkey)

Covents took the lead in the first few minutes of the second half when Deadeye Douglas sent a penalty over, straight and true for 8-6. Once again, in the latter period, the real Covents turned up and in the 10th minute big full-back Simon Needles went on one of his trademark glides, beat four players and put Kev Walters in, in the corner but the move came to naught. From a scrum, Covents got a big shove on but Saras held firm. This turned into a Premier Inn mini-break as Covents set up camp in the corner but again, no points were garnered.

A few minutes later, the ball was fired through the three quarter line, Dougie to Lawrence who put Rohan in at the bowling green corner and just about to run out of room, Super Ro astounded everyone with an outrageous swallow dive, more top board at Cov Baths than Swan Lake. The judges all held up sixes and Covents were 13-6 up thanks to Rohans superb Greg Louganis effort.

Saras came back with a penalty to make the score 13-9 and shortly afterwards, Wayne 6 rums Brandfour who had come on as a sub for Dave Bailey picked up at a ruck and looking like Serge Blanco sold a dummy and charged up field before being stopped. Then from the lineout he leapt like a salmon and took Saras ball. Maybe he had drunk 7 rums? From this move, centre Lawrence went on a bullocking surge and running STRAIGHT used his rather robust build to knock four defenders over before being halted. Trevor Roberts thought he had scored but like Danny earlier, was denied by the ref. Then Lawrence went again, like a man possessed (or just someone who was advised to run STRAIGHT) and now, it was all blue and white pressure.

The game was then interrupted when the Saras prop decided to drive low, ball in hand but only succeeding in colliding with the granite head of The Beast (aka Woz). Woz says he was also going low but we suspect he was having a sneaky nap but the outcome was not pretty for the Saras prop as he was knocked senseless and had to go off after a lengthy delay. He only avoided a serious neck injury by the fact that he did not have one. A few minutes later, Wayne rucked out, won a penalty which Dougie put onto the train lines to bring the curtain down on a hard fought two points.

Talking of Dougie, he was one of two players who asked me if I had seen certain incidents; one was a re-start from him that sent the ball a thousandth of an inch and a clod of earth over the clubhouse. The other was Kev Walters being tackled, sacked and turned over like a washing machine on fast cycle. So no boys you are fine, I did not see either happen . . .

So to the entertainment; as VPs days go it was not the best supported as the weather had made a warm living room and a bowl of Complan seem more appealing but that said we still had a good turnout of old favourites; Red Brown, Nick Castle, Paul Cassidy, Steve Fish, Giz Gisbourne, Dick Griffiths, Mick Groves, Robbie Hopkins, Simon Hull, Grant Liggins, Spanner Lindon, Trevor Lyon, Ron McBride, Father Francis P McCullough, Archie McPherson, Terry Mosey, Lee Pegler, Bob & Steve Platt, Rocket Ron Randle, Sean Stanton, Tony suave Super, Steve Tate, Martin Trenholm, Rich Walters and John Wilson.

For photos click here they aint the best quality unfortunately.

It was great to see the club heaving with bodies and thronging with song both from the old farts and the current players. Thanks to Red for his ever enduring Alouette (although she has a few grey hairs down below these days) and also to our second team referee (whose name escapes me) for standing up on that chair, and taking a soaking while trying to decide what to sing; she is a great sport! John, Jane and Barbara did us proud too with food and drink a plenty; the table was groaning under the weight of the bottomless buffet and the curry was pretty damn good too. Finally gratitude to Red and Golly for keeping me company until 2am and helping me to feel so wonderful today . . .

Bar Quote

Steve Vallis to myself; You misquoting MOTHER F * * * * R!

I have to say I have never been called that before but then it is Covents and who am I to argue with one so eloquent?

Covents 2nds 0-0 Bedworth 3rds (Warks 3)

Respect to the 2nd team who took on Beduth 3rds on the bottom pitch and put in a gutsy display during a festival of Champagne rugby to draw 0-0.

Saturday November 7th

Coventrians 16 - 15 Wellesbourne

(Mids 5 South)

Plucky Ws Vanquished as Covents Win Ugly

A week is a long time in rugby and we witnessed role reversal at a cold, damp autumnal Black Pad yesterday as it was Covents turn to win a game they perhaps did not deserve to by one point. With our usual plethora of injuries/non availabilities Covents still managed to rock up with four world record holders; Steve Vallis (worlds unfittest prop) Woz Garner (worlds strongest prop) Rich Scholes (worlds greediest prop) and the worlds heaviest crash centre, an out of position Supersize Me Keiran Martin.

If I am honest, the first half was a pile of old rubbish which started badly and went downhill. The blue and whites looked half asleep as Wellesbourne went over, unopposed after 3 minutes after our No 10 Duncan Keenan dropped the ball. Dunc made amends with a penalty nine minutes later for 3-5 but the Ws potted one of their own to make the score 3-8.

On 23 minutes Rohan finally got ball after anorexic hooker Danny Pearson (now on the flank) secured possession. Rohan turned on the style and turned Wellesbourne inside out mercurially dancing through 6 or 7 dizzy defenders before offloading to Lawrence who did well before being tackled. Covents were finally firing now and it was Lawrence again, who eventually running straight at centre used his considerable bulk and nearly went over. From the resulting scrum the fat boys pushed and veteran no 8 Dick Potter finished off a text book pushover try in the 29th minute that was unconverted for 8-8.

The next ten minutes saw the usual solid hits from John Field and a nice kick from scrum half Scrappy to clear our lines as the Ws attacked. In the 39th minute Jon Clifford, our young winger who weighs 5 stone in a wringing wet army coat made a superb try saving tackle in the corner but Wellesbourne scored and converted on 40 mins to go into a deserved lead at half time 8 – 15.


Just after the kick off we lost Danny Pearson after a blow to his head so Lenny Pitt (young John Kenny to you) came on at centre and Supersize Me went into the back row. Straight away we were almost in at the bowling green corner from a good looking move between Duncan, Lawrence and Lenny. On 48 minutes Rich Scholes came on for Woz at loose head and his athleticism, dynamic fitness and astute rugby brain turned the game as Rohan was taken off the ball resulting in a Wellesbourne yellow card. On 55 mins Covents were back in the game as scrum half Scrappy skilfully dummy scissored on the line to dot down to make the score 13-15.

This heralded probably the best period of the match with Wellesbourne stung back into attack and only a superb big hit by Supersize Me Martin in the corner prevented a certain score. In the 62nd min D J (playing at hooker) pulled out a bulldozer hit of his own and seven minutes later, John Field nearly cut a bloke in half with a fully committed challenge. So the blue and whites were finally awake and firing then and in the 74th minute, Lawrence thought he was away until the whistle brought him back down to earth. From the resulting Wellesbourne penalty, they didn’t find touch and Jon Clifford (looking more and more like Billy Casper from Kes) caught the ball and unsure whether to run, pass or kick had to consult his Rothmans Rugby Union Handbook before finally hoofing it away just in the nick of time.

In the 75th minute Rohan clicked his heels again and went on a whirling, spinning, mazy thing of a run which included body pops, pirouettes and a double pike before Covents were awarded a penalty on 80 minutes which Duncan (who had not had his best kicking day) coolly slotted for 16-15. So game over then as time was up? You must be joking! As there had been a few injuries our beloved whistler decided to play a whole new game and we had to endure an agonising 10 minutes of time added on which saw a second big hit from D J, a yellow card for John Field and Dave Bailey’s impression of the Incredible Hulk when attempting to rip the ball off his opponent for 30 seconds before realising the whistle had been blown 18 times and a penalty awarded to Wellesbourne.

As their kicker lined it up in the 90th minute, yes 90th minute, Dave could not bare to look but thankfully for us and Dave the kick fell short and the game was won. So a win is a win but although pleased with themselves every Covent knew that this was not good enough and that we were perhaps fortunate to finish on top. Fair play to Wellesbourne too who turned up in numbers, played with great spirit and were unfortunate to leave with nothing. This I believe is only their second season and we wish them well for the rest of it and for the future. I particularly want to mention their utility forward; he is 42 years old, 5 foot 6 and played at number 8, second row and flanker. He is never short of a word either; see you at your place!

Touchline Quotes

Steve Vallis on why he will not be part of a rolling maul Because I am intrinsically lazy.

Opposite prop to Woz It was like propping against a brick wall.

Sam Holtham who bruised his ankle Arghhhh, ooooh, arghhhhhh, I cant suck it in Trev, it hurts too much!

There are some great photos available if you click here. Our thanks to Wellesbournes photographer Dick Prior for his efforts.

Bare respect due to Trevor Roberts who conquered Kill a man for a giro all in aid of Help for Heroes i.e. British Servicemen. Well done mate, I will try and remember that fiver for next week.

Finally, my thanks to Mini Stanton and his mate Johnny who took time off from their Latin homework to walk down to the bottom posts and collect pads and flags as Springy was too idle to go. Thanks lads, Springy I want that quid back that I gave them for sweets.

PS - there was no 2nd team game as we had to cry off due to lack of bodies

Saturday 24th October 2009

Copsewood 13 - 12 Coventrians Mids 5 W (S E)

Tries from Paul Brindley and Rohan Aitken and a Deadeye Douglas conversion were not enough to stretch Covents winning run to 4 games. The 2nd team game was called off at 2pm by Copsewood. Don't look too hard for a match report, I was in Carlisle.

Our league record v Copsewood is P2 W1 L1, against GPT Coventry P1 L1 and against GEC P1 L1. On the 18th November 1989 we lost 6-44 away to GEC with a try from Julian Brooks (against his old club) and a conversion from Wiggy Bennett. On the 17th February 1996 we lost 16-28 away to GPT Coventry, our try scorers Nick Castle & Dave Davidson with Davidson adding 2 pens. Last season our nadir came at home against bottom club Copsewood losing 6-9 on 25th October 2008 (Chris Potter pen) but redeeming ourselves at Allard Way on the 31st January 2009 winning 15-3 with tries from Nick Coates & Danny Pearson, Phil Jones's brother adding a pen & a con.

VP's & Old Boy's Day Sat 14th November at home to Cov Saracens 1:00pm

Saturday 24th October 2009



Covents 2nds 21 - 29 Newbold 3rds (Warks 3)

Kev Walters 2 tries, Steve Vallis try, Sam Collinson 3 conversions - unlucky lads, great result.

Alcester 5 - 13 Coventrians (Cup)

Covents travelled to higher league opposition Ulster and made it 3 wins out of 3 as they triumphed in this Midlands Junior Vase Round 2 game, with a try from skipper Cozzy and 2 penalties & a conversion from Simon Needles. Unfortunately, Cozzy had his shoulder dislocated from a big hit near the end of the match.

VP's & Old Boy's Day ~ Sat Nov 14th 1-00pm v Cov Saracens

Saturday 17th October 2009

Coventrians 18 - 11 Atherstone Mids 5 West (S East)


Our all time league record v Atherstone is P27 W10 L17. Our first ever league encounter was on 10th Sept 1988 and we won 19-3 at home with tries from Paul Barrow 2, Tim Bycroft & John Kenny. Clayton Flick kicked a penalty. On the 12th Dec 1998 we lost at home 0-66 but on the 8th March 2008 we won away 45-14 with tries from M Kiburi, C Thornton, K Walters, R Aitken & C Simons 2 each & 5 conversions to Deadeye Douglas. Perversely that season, we found ourselves cheering Atherstone on in a rearranged fixture at OC's ground under lights as they went down to Old Wheats and we went into a play-off by virtue of 1 point eventually being promoted.

Atherstone Brawn 'Busted' by Slick Covents Backs

Covents, in the role of David, slew Goliath as The Black Pad resembled the Land of the Giants on Saturday. From the kick off (missing at least two of their more rotund pack members) Covents were soon struggling up front giving away height, weight and ground and this was underlined by Rohan Aitkin in our 22 having to make three big hits in as many minutes. On 8 minutes, with our pack going backwards, we were awarded a penalty which was marched forward ten due to Atherstone yap. From the lineout, Dougie hoisted into their 22 and Paul Brindley, sprinting in only just failed to gather as their full-back fumbled. Lawrence (Midas touch) Goddard popped up and dotted down but the referee brought it back. So it came to naught but Covents had glimpsed the Promised Land. Kick behind them and use our pace? Sounded like a plan . . .

For the next few minutes, the game see sawed end to end as Simon or Dougie kicked up field and Atherstone would run back, only to be stopped by solid tackling by Rohan or Paul Brindley. At one point one of Simon Needles kicks was caught by Geoff Capes who galloped forward but Simon stopped him with a cruncher. For number 8 Dick Potter and scrum-half Tom Gough it was a case of hot potato in the scrum as we were under pressure in the tight five. The pressure showed when Rohan took a great catch in his 22 and bellowed out, Body-arc! Answers on a postcard please but we think he meant mark.

In the 23rd minute an Atherstone penalty was kicked from way out (and I mean from The Brico) for 0-3 but one could not help feeling that after all that pressure and supremacy Atherstone would have expected more. A minute later, Paul Brindley took a catch on the touchline and sprinted up field beating four defenders; they just did not look happy when we ran at them. Covents forwards were fighting back too when Dick Potter cleaned out at altitude on 27 minutes and D J went on a surge that ended in a ruck from which Deadeye kicked and Atherstone messed up. Simon saw his chance, kicked on, picked up and dropped down to score for 5-3. Unusually, Deadeye missed his kick from very close, the ball going under the bar. Later, Dougie confided that he was just trying to emulate his kicking hero, Chris Potter . . .

Straight away, we Garryowened again and their full-back nearly messed up again. Then Paul Brindley went on another run which came to nothing and seconds later their full-back had to take again with big Simon breathing down his neck. So it seemed our backs mantra was have ball will travel, and as Churchill once famously said to President Roosevelt, Give us the tools and we will finish the job. The pressure told on 32 minutes as Goughie tapped and went on their 22 and as they were not ten, we took the kick instead. Deadeye, having removed his flipflops sent over a good one and we were 8-3. Two minutes later, Atherstone pegged us back to 8-6 with their own kick but in the 38th minute Tom Gough collected the pill, sprinted forward and put hooker Danny Pearson in on the right touch. Danny, throwing off the Ernie Wise tag skated up the wing and made 30 yards before being stopped.

The stroke of half-time saw Covents camped on their line after more good work from Dick in the lineout but the gnarled old street-fighters wheeled our eight and came away with the ball to leave the match nicely poised at the break, 8-6.


Trevor Roberts came on for Dick at Number 8 and in the 43rd minute Deadeye showed good soccer skills as he volleyed out in a dangerous situation. From the lineout Atherstone surged forward but again, solid defence from Jon Field and Rohan stopped them in their tracks. At this point prop Harry came off, Dave Bailey went on and Mr Versatile (D J) moved to the front row. On 45 minutes we managed to engineer the worst situation possible i.e. an Atherstone scrum on our line and guess what? Yeah, they scored a pushover but hit the post with the conversion leaving the score, 8-11. This prompted their packleader to shout, Right lads, we ll bust these now! (still early though old pal)

On 50 minutes Jon Field cut an Atherstone back in half and from the resulting lineout Deadeye ran a great angle before slipping to Rohan who at his mercurial best, produced one of his Specials by beating three attackers and dotting down under the sticks for 13-11. Deadeye slotted and things looked rosy again at 15-11. (To hear some hysterical idiot commentate on the score click here) The next 10 minutes and it was game on as both sides attacked and counter attacked. Rohan caught in his own 22 and throwing an outrageous dummy (those two Atherstone players had to pay to get back in) sprinted to half-way before being bundled in. The pack started to rumble after a quiet time of it in the first 40 and once again, Covents superior fitness told as Trevor broke free but was pulled back by a whistle.

On the hour it was our forwards putting the pressure on and a series of moves through the back row saw us camped in their 22 but the giants held firm against the pygmies. We were fired up and having won a penalty maybe got too excited and tapped. Luckily they were penalized again and with Steve Springate hysterically exhorting us to kick for goal we did just that, but Deadeye missed. This did not quench the Covents forward fire though and Ryan Gilbert had a trundle, supported by Jon Field and the ubiquitous Captain Cozzy. In the 68th minute we experienced deja vu as we won a penalty in their 22 and opted to tap, luckily winning another penalty which Deadeye kicked true for 18-11.

In the 70th minute, Deadeye sent another penalty into the corner and from the lineout Sam got a terrible cramp at 1500 feet but teak tough flanker that he is, took the pain like a man. So much so that when Monkey (love you and sneaker!) massaged it he screamed, Ooh it hurts, ooh it hurts. In the 75th minute it was hard, niggly but clean in the middle of the park and a series of mauls produced a run for Rohan via Lawrence and Jon Field which ended in a high tackle and our possession. Atherstone won it back and in the 78th minute got a slow drive on, inching our forwards back inexorably but a knock on put paid to their efforts.

Simon kicked away but a Covents player was offside and Atherstone opted for 3 points with a couple of minutes left plus any injury time. Break out the beer and big Cuban cigars here because surely Covents were home and hosed? You reckon??? Read on.

The kick fell short and Simon Needles, looking more relaxed than a cat in front of a roaring log fire who had eaten all the cream managed to somehow create a cliff hanging bombshell of an ending by farting about with the pick up and then knocking on resulting in a scrum on our line to the hairy monsters. So with Woz screaming hit him Ryan, lock out Ryan and other daft front row ramblings we scrummaged for our lives and solid it was too. They could not move us so opted to run it and tidal waves of relief swept over everyone in blue and white as their No 10 knocked on giving us the put in. Ball was won, kicked away and the curtain brought down on a thrilling game of rugby. Simon was off the hook and that lynching rope hurriedly taken down from the rafters inside the clubhouse.

So played three won two and a big win it was too as Atherstone had two out of two under their belts already before today. So many times on here I have paid deserved respect to our forwards over the last two seasons and there was no lack of effort today either against a bigger, heavier more experienced pack but this time the plaudits go to the backs who were tenacious in the tackle on the back foot and when the time was right, turned on the pace and skills to ensure the lads enjoyed a great win. My thanks to the Atherstone players and supporters who stayed for a good hour plus, ate some more pies and sank some more ale. Big Bear Burdett, great to see you again mate bring Clarky with you on the 14th November. Also a mention to the ref here who was virtually anonymous; this must mean he a had a good game then.

Old Covents 3rds 63 - 17 Covents 2nds Warks 3

All hail the seconds who travelled with 12 and seeking revenge for last years 60-0 thraping, OCs decided not to lend us players and even the sides up. So with Silver Fox Deano at prop and Terry (dodgy mags) Mosey on the flank a combined age of 101 played 80 minutes each. Deano himself told me that the credit goes to the younger boys who never gave up, kept running and tackled nearly everything. Big Sam Collinson scored a try, a penalty and two conversions and Alan Bedfords mate Ryan got the other try. Well done lads!


VP's & Old Boy's Day ~ Sat Nov 14th 1-00pm v Cov Saracens

For results, click here - for league table, click on the blue link "League Table" to the right