Coventrians 2nds 38 - 14 Trinity Guild 2nds

Fun in the Sun as Vets Pave the Way

They say the sun shines on the righteous and so it shone, all day, at The Black Pad as Covents took on Trinity Guild in a friendly 2nd team fixture which became a festival of free flowing rugby that at times could have graced the Middlesex 7s.

With both teams fielding 7 or 8 subs Covents were assured of two Guinness World records by claiming the oldest and heaviest pack ever. With Deano, Terry Mosey, Haydon (with an O) and Steve Vallis some may say they could have sneaked a third record with the ugliest too but I would never print anything as odious as that. So to strains of Who do you think you are kidding Mr Hitler the game kicked off.

After 15 mins of rugby chess in sub tropical conditions, Deano the Snake Hipped Silver Fox put Dave Bailey in for the first try which Ben Davies duly slotted for 7-0. Four minutes later, Carl Bonsor, playing at second row, served up a morsel slightly less ordinary when shaping to kick (heavy fine at Kangaroo court methinks) saw a gap, turned on the gas and left the Guild defenders dazzled by his Philippe Sella like deftness. Ben Davies converted, 14-0.

Shaken from their disbelief, Guild rallied and after a period of pressure on Covents line, their Sherman tank smashed over from 1 inch to make the score 14-7. On 34 minutes, perhaps still blinded by his own brilliance, Carl Lescarboura Bonsor crashed back to reality when looking for a second try dropped the ball on the line prompting Chris Potter to suggest from the sideline that perhaps he might have passed (GREEDY BAR-STEWARD!). It mattered not a minute later though as Simon Needles showed Carl how by gliding effortlessly, ball in right palm through four tackles to dot down. The conversion hit the upright and it was 19-7.

On 37 minutes, Terry Mosey, having built up a head of steam, snuck his lithe, athletic body through a hole in the ruck and with 60 yards to go was once again (remember Earlsdon last year?) cruelly denied a wonderful retirement solo try by the man with the whistle.

Half time, 19-7 and the age/weight plummeted dramatically as 6 or 7 changes were made. In the first seconds, Chris Potter showed Carl Bonsor how to do drop the ball properly much to the merriment of fellow Bedworthian (although Trace Blaster me cock Bates reckons they’re only aborigines) Steve Vallis and some less than appropriate banter passed between them which cannot be printed here. After 47 minutes another delicious treat was served up by the Covents second row, cordon blue kitchen. This time D J Sexton went over after a mazy run which he swears was 150 yards and contained 3 sidesteps. Chris Potter produced a daisy cutter and the score was 24-7.

At this point I was distracted by various ex players, among them John Wilson, Chris McDonnell, Rolly and Blaster Bates and some liquid refreshment so missed Keiran Martins try (his agent will not be happy) but it was converted for 31-7. Trinity Guild, who never gave up and provided spirited opposition befitting their proud status as the Citys oldest junior club scored again to make it 31-14 but Covents had one more score up their sleeve after good work from Potter Jnr as Adam Page dotted and Simon Needles slotted for 38-14. There was just time for Rohan to go on one of his blistering A-Z runs before passing to Adam Page who was held up on the line. At this point the referee brought down the curtain on a most entertaining game and the lads trudged off for a well earned cold one (beer not shower).

It has to said that I missed some of the action apparently most notably Danny Pearsons superhero tackle for which he donned tights and cape before diving in to stop a Guild attacker. Also, hooker Tom beer visors 3 strikes against the head and attempted drop goal. So praise for the former and a fine for the latter then.

Qips & Quotes

Sean Stanton - in response to you wont drag him down by the shoulders (Haydon - prop) Has he got any shoulders?

Referee in response to lineout throw before he got there – Whose idea was it to start? After an investigation, 3 players received a head-teacher’s detention.

Steve Vallis – My heart wasnt in it today whilst warming down with gin & tonic and a big fat Cuban.

Danny – Let me talk you through my tackle (17 times)

So there we were, shmoozing outside the club we love (upon which the sun never sets) lapping up this Indian summer, enjoying the craic, reliving old times (talking crap) and crying with laughter. Remember though, the roving mic is never turned off - turns out that I caught a lot of lineout ball in my day, Trace Bates soiled himself in Germany, Woz looks forward to playing 80 minutes every week for the 1st team, Adam eats a lot of crisps, Danny loves monkey and D J has mustard gas flatulence.

Next week the phoney war ends, time to fix bayonets and charge over the top as we entertain Trinity Guild in the first league match of the new season and the 2nds play Leamington away – can you afford to miss something this good? Covents is the place, we are the people.

Race Night to support Neil Walters - Saturday 26th Sept after first 1st team league game of season - please buy a dog & support - woof, woof!