Saturday 12th September 2009

Eeeeee by bloody gum! The aroma of freshly cut grass (on the pitch not in a rizzla) and Deep Heat eminates, the pipes have been cleaned (beer not crack) as we excitedly await the start of a new season with delicious anticipation . . . Yes friends, there are two games today at HQ (aka) The Black Pad, so put the cat out, hire a baby sitter, eat a hearty lunch of salty bacon and get down to the club you love for some high class entertainment;

The new coach gets to grips at half-time

Coventrians 2nds 43 - 7 Harbury 2nds Warks 3

Under a blue sky and glorious, warm sunshine, a strong looking second team with 7 or 8 first team players but a flanker at scrum-half (Sam), a fullback at fly-half (Rohan) and Wayne 6 brandies (40 year old second-row) in the centre kicked off 2009/10 in style with a 43-7 victory over a spirited Harbury 2nds.

New coach Huw Duggan seems to have already made an impression as the guys look fitter and stronger. Paul Brindley dotted down in the corner on 29 mins with fulback Simon Needles converting. On 37 minutes, the new slimline hooker Danny Pearson (awww bless you monkey) scored a birthday try after a good off load by Trevor Roberts with Simon converting again for 14-0 at half-time.

In the 49th minute Rohan scored from close in at the clubhouse end with Simon converting again for 21-0. Just after this, the game was illuminated by wanna be fly-half (more like pie-half) Steve Vallis's customary charge up field with 'Fred Flintstone' twinkle toed 10 pin bowling run up much to the crowd's amusement. After 56 mins, Trevor Roberts set Rohan up again and this time he beat 3 or 4 defenders to dot down an un-converted try, 26-0.

At this point I buggered off to direct an ambulance over to a player with a neck injury on the adjoining pitch so missed the last 25 minutes but Wayne six brandies Brandfour dotted over a Keiran Martin pushover and a try from Jon Field (1 converted by Simon) completed the scoring with one reply from the lads in red and white.

A few mentions; In this section I will, over the weeks, include actual pre, during or post match player quotes starting with,

D J Sexton and the try that never was - "I'm proper gutted yeah, I drove for the (expletive deleted) line with about 7 or 8 Harbury players hanging off me, grounded the ball but the ref says no try. We gotta have a (expletive deleted) TMO and more bog roll in the toilets."

Keiran Martin - "Well clearly I'm slimmer, fitter and better looking than last year and today I thought I had an excellent game, rucking, driving and then scoring that magnificent pushover try. I do try and keep modest though. By the way, did my agent give clearance for this interview?"

Danny Pearson - "Love you Monkey x x x"

Springy - getting a gentle rub on his calf (which he pulled playing real tennis at his club) "Oooh, ahhhh, ouch, ooooh that's really painful!"

A special mention to Ryan Gilbert here for his first half thundering wildebeest charges up field. We'd all like him to get lower but unfortunately gravity might take over.

Coventrians Vets 5 - 12 Rugby St Andrews 3rds (game abandoned after 50 mins)

This was an amazing game, a throwback to 1970s grass roots rugby. (in fact the only thing missing was a toilet door to carry off injured players) As the bottom pitch was deemed unfit to play on (something to do with no markings, dog shit and world war 2 anti tank spikes) the lads set up on the football pitch between the Harbury game and a football match. They were going to use jumpers for goalposts but instead used the soccer goals. A pig's bladder was found for a ball and wooden studs provided. Hughie Neale passed to William Webb Ellis and the game was underway. Covents' try was scored by Alan Bedford but the game had to be abandoned due to a neck injury to Covents' Matt Steele. An ambulance was called and Matt trussed up in brace and board before being carted off to Walsgrave - we're happy to report that it was only bruising and he returned home for 6 pints and a Madras at 9pm.

A big THANK YOU to the Rugby St Andrews guys who stayed with Matt and for their help and support. I will try and contact their club to pass this on.