Saturday 28th March 2009

Evesham 43 - 0 Coventrians Mids (5 West South) 3:00

(Stop press - the RFU website, from the referee's card reports the result as 48-0 but the dictaphone doesn't lie. Maybe they'll get 50 by Tuesday . . .)

Covents Crash to Heavy Defeat

They may have travelled to Evesham in a coach but it was on the park that the wheels fell off the Covents’ bus as the lads let themselves down with a lack-lustre and disastrous day at the office today.

In blustery and showery conditions the game started fairly evenly with Chris Simons charging down and Rohan beating three defenders before being stopped. In the 5th minute, the referee, a forthright and outspoken individual handed out a loud lecture to Covent’s prop Steve Vallis and then a minute later intensely irritated everyone in blue and white by showing flanker Cozzy a yellow card for an allegedly dangerous tackle that neither tipped or speared the Evesham player- so 6 minutes in and the frustration had started.

In the 9th minute, whether the journey, the harsh yellow card or the angle at which the earth’s axis is tilted affected Covents, no-one knows but Evesham sliced through three non existent tackles to touch down and convert, 0-7. At this point the game was re-started with only thirteen Covents on the pitch as Kev Walters was still receiving treatment for a rib injury which saw him eventually replaced by Wayne Brandfour in the centre. In the 16th minute Evesham scored again to make it 0-12.

It became clear that this was an uphill battle as solid tackling from Chris Simons and a last ditch bundle into touch by Rohan only just stopped the home side in the corner. Good work from the newly installed Cozzy enabled him to steal from the lineout in the 21st minute but from this possession Chris received a Walsgrave A&E ball in front of his own posts and was scragged resulting in a scrum on our line from which Evesham scored in the corner and converted for 0-19.

In the 25th minute, Covents had a rare foray into Evesham’s 22 which ended in a penalty and with a strong wind blowing across the pitch; Dougie’s kick was long enough but went wide. At this point Rich Walters had a moan on the touchline and reckoned he’d been “diddled” as his new Covents’ top was supposed to be windproof and he was freezing. The 30th minute saw a good drive forward from D J, well supported by Brum-half Tom Carter and the Evesham fullback dropping Dougie’s kick for a Covent’s lineout. In the 35th minute a humongous tackle from Wayne again underlined Covent’s best period of the half.

Evesham were soon back though and from a tap penalty on our line dropped the ball enabling lock Ryan Gilbert to pick up and use his considerable bulk to surge forward 10 yards. The half ended with Covents in Evesham’s half, 0-19.

At this point, a ball from the second team game on the next pitch landed at Springy’s feet and rolling back the years, he attempted to kick it back over the fence. Unfortunately his grubbing torpedo landed in the brook and needed a ball boy with a fishing net for retrieval. So business as usual with Spooky’s kicking game then . . .

From the re-start, skipper Danny Pearson took a good catch and set ball only to be penalised by the referee’s ever increasing egoism as players, coach and supporters alike tried to explain that it was from the kick off and he shouldn’t be punished.

Again this seemed to have a negative effect on our boys as in the 43rd minute an Evesham forward bullocked towards our line through two missed tackles and although John Field brought him down the try was scored and converted for 0-26. The Gods obviously weren’t happy because in the 45th minute, the sky went as black as tar, the wind roared and rain and hail lashed across the pitch causing the large home support to run into the clubhouse and us lot to huddle behind the hedge.

The inclement weather seemed to fire Covents though as they rucked and drove into Evesham territory, led by a good drive of 7 or 8 yards by Kieran Martin. Then Vallis took a crash ball and we were starting to rumble finally. Unfortunately it wasn’t long before the day’s frailties surfaced again as an Evesham attacker ran through five (yes, five) tackles in the 49th minute before Wayne and Dougie stopped him inches short. Shades of the Alamo here as an Evesham tap and go saw a good double tackle from Swaff and Chris Simons save us again and then a solid hit from the bearded Brum-half stopped the next wave.

So we came away intact and in the 54th minute Ryan Gilbert went on another solo run, more lung shot rhino than gazelle - it took several Evesham forwards to stop him but it was to no avail as Evesham scored again in the corner and converted for 0-33 on the hour. From the kick off Rohan seemed to take an age to gather the ball and with Evesham players bearing down on him, he wriggled out of their grasping hands, went on a mini, mazy run and put a good kick in to find touch. From the lineout it was the bearded Brum-half’s turn to do well as he secured loose ball and bobbed and weaved like Alan Minter before Bob Platt had tagged him.

In the 62nd minute Evesham were nearly in again with a two man overlap but great work from the tireless Chris Simon saw them bundled into touch and some minor handbags. Just after this, Wayne Brandfour pulled out a clothes line to stop an Evesham attack and slightly more serious handbags were stopped by the beast (Woz) baring his teeth. From the resulting penalty, Evesham slotted for 0-36. On 66 minutes another Evesham forward went on another galloping run towards our line but was stopped in his tracks when Wayne hit him like a runaway freight train.

A minute later and Groundhog Day kicked in again as Evesham ran at our line and after a great tackle from Cozzy, the decision once again went in the home side’s favour. Just after this Covents enjoyed a great little run as the 3/4s got the ball out to Dougie who sprinted down the wing and put a chip kick in that was only just gathered by their full back and kicked away. From the lineout, Covents secured possession and turned the heat up for the first time in the match as the forwards got a rumble on and drove Evesham backwards towards their own line, about 5 yards out. At this point, with Vallis in possession and the Evesham forwards crumbling we imploded as a blue and white, fed up with the Evesham flanker coming in at the side let loose with a suicidal, verbal volley at the referee which resulted in a penalty against, a yellow card and no score. Evesham kicked away and then more petulance as the ball was hoofed into the next field in frustration.

In the 76th minute Evesham rubbed salt into an already dog of a day by scoring and converting again to make it 0-43. Just after this, Sean Stanton came to Covent’s rescue as Evesham scored again and just as the ref was putting his hand up, gently persuaded the rather shy and retiring home touch judge to actually wave his flag properly for a foot in touch. As crumbs of comfort go, this was microscopic but thanks anyway Seano.

So there we were, stuffed out of sight, heads down, some teddies out of prams and a lot of despondent blue and whites. Fair play to Evesham, they’ve caught us twice on the baddest of days and put 86 points up us this season. We know we can play much better than this and it’s a case of drawing a line and moving on. Again we were bemused and frustrated with the majority of the referee’s decisions and also, the manner in which he made them but it is to ourselves that we need to look as we never turned up today. Having said that, the spirit was soon revived and everybody kissed and made up on the bus, consigned today to the bin and looked forward to next week.

Coventrians 2nds v Old Coventrians 3rds (Warks 3) 3:00


Old Covents did not bother to turn up today so that goes down as a 20 - 0 win to Covents.